I came to the realization on my way home today that I've slowed down a lot, especially in this one semester. Granted, I'm coming back from two weeks of being sick with two different, unrelated illnesses, but I still think that part of my nature has changed, even if it is just a little. I think a lot more now, about things that are really rather unimportant. Like the way a shadow falls on bricks or the way the snow is melting in different patterns from where people have walked. I look at the icicles that hang off people's cars and the way the water runs down the sidewalk. I'm looking up more than down when I walk. I guess I'm just trying to take in the last bit of Newark while I can. It's sort of frightening and sad to think that in a few months I won't live here anymore, I won't be coming back after the summer ends, I won't be seeing my friends on a regular basis, much less live with them. Sure, people will be around, but this is sort of the end of a major chapter, and that's both sad and exciting. I'm done with college. I'm done with the work and the tests and the not being out in the world. At some point in time my mind clicked into a different setting, and I'm ready to see what comes next.
Doesn't mean I won't miss it like crazy, though. This is probably the best year I've ever had, as far as just being happy goes. I'm thrilled with my apartment, my roommates, my friends, my boyfriend... the family's a little rough but we're pulling through. I woke up this morning and felt like I was beaming, I was just happy to be where I am. I can't remember the last time that happened. I can't be sure that I've ever felt quite this good, consistently, too. It just saddens me to think that now that everything seems to be coming together and everything is going well, I have to leave it all come June. I don't want these months to fly like they have been. Soon it'll be spring break and Matt's birthday, then it'll be April and Mary's. Then it's just a hop, skip, and a jump to Graduation. And Life.
We're growing up, kids.
