Irrational Fears

Irrational fears. They're a beautiful thing, because really and truly, no one can telly you it's stupid to have that fear, because it's in the title. An irrational fear is something that people look at you strangely for, or that you can't justify, it just scares the pants off of you. Like being afraid of peaches.

Anywho, I thought I would take this moment to recount a few of my irrational fears, mainly because during this weekend in Venice (of which there will be a post, and gosh darn it there'll be one on Rome, too) I got the pleasure of reliving one of my irrational fears.

This weekend, in Venice, we decided to visit the church of Saint Rocco, no, not the wallaby, the Saint of Plague Victims (crummy job, if you ask me. I'd rather be the Saint of Delicious Cakes or Saint of Really Shiny Objects). Anyway, so we went into this church, and there's a bunch of altars and such and Richard gives his spiel and we go on our merry way looking at what we want to and splitting up. So we wander around, I've done my lap, seen what I want to see, so I camp out in the main area to wait around for the others. I see Mike, and I had seen Jane a little before, but I haven't seen Richard or Viv. Then I realize I haven't seen Jane in a while, but wait, there's Mike over there, looking at a book. Then there's no Mike anymore. I'm on my own. I look around frantically in the nave, there's no one there. I head over towards the pews. No one. To the side altars. Nothing. I come back to the main room, I still see no one, and I'm having a complete internal meltdown. They've left without me, how could they leave without me, there's only 4 of us, they couldn't have just left, they would know that I'm gone, how could they leave without me?? I tried to calm myself down. Okay, go check outside, if they're not out there, then you've definitely been left. So I wander outside the front doors, trying to hold in my hysteria. And there, right outside the door, smiling and laughing in a little circle, is the group. Waiting. Now, here is the series of emotions that ran through my head "THANKGODTHEY"REHERE, they intentionally left me in there and knew I would freak out, ANGERANGER, but they didn't know I would freak out, OVERLOADOFEMOTIONS one step short of tears." So I went back to the hotel. Collapsed on my bed. Attempted to write a little bit, was too upset, and decided to walk around and shop. Hint: Shopping can in fact calm someone down, because it is so mundane and so normal, that it's impossible to be overly terrified of anything.

Anyway, irrational fear 2. The dark, specifically being alone in it. I attribute this mostly to the fact that I have an overactive imagination. I'm afraid of large dark rooms where I can't see anything, and I like having a little bit of the blinds cracked so there's some outside light coming in. I woke up in the middle of the night in my single room in the hotel in a panic not knowing where I was or what was around me. It was a freaky moment.

Well, we're up to 2 irrational fears, and honestly I've lost a little steam in this discussion. Maybe we'll explore later. But, on next week's show, expect some Venice and Rome.

Rock steady. A presto.