I am starting to feel better. I've calmed down a little, I've started to go to the gym, which surprisingly helps me relax a little more. I've decided that I've been really proactive over the past couple of weeks and that I really deserve a break. I'm done with forcing things, I'm going to see what happens if I just let the fates that be take care of me, and to not freak out about making sure things work the way that I think that they should. If there is one thing I have learned, it's that I have no idea what I'm doing, and that I should listen more to my heart and my gut and less to what my brain tells me is the way things should go.
So far... It's been pretty successful :) I'm happy, probably for the first time in months.
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