Sometimes it feels like nothing ever changes. No matter what you do, or what you talk about, or what you decide you're going to take charge of, nothing ever changes.
Every morning is the same hour long commute. It's the same traffic. It's the same set of cars that cut you off the day before.
In the office, it's the same set of objects in a different room, the same files in the same cabinets. The same hike up three flights of stairs, the same place to eat lunch. You talk to the same people about the same shit.
Nothing changes.
You climb into the car, drive the hour back, sit behind the same set of people who though the speed limit was 35 when it's 45, get onto the same road where people have miraculously forgotten how to merge from yesterday, and collapse back at home where your family argues over the same crap in the same stupid voices.
It's a cycle.
Something upsets you, you talk about it, nothing comes of it, but everyone feels better because it was addressed. The problem is still there, but it's been talked about so it's not really an issue.
I hate suburbia.
I hate that all my friends are at least a half hour away.
I hate driving every morning listening to the same crap as yesterday.
I had higher hopes for life after college. I had higher hopes that didn't involve the seemingly unending monotony that every day presents. It's enough to drive you crazy.
I want out. I need to be somewhere new. I can't sit in this room in this house in this town for much longer.
Some days I think about just throwing everything I have into a suitcase and just driving. I don't really care where I go as long as it's not here. Or maybe just getting into my car after work and not head home. Not head anywhere, just go. It's stupid and I'll probably never do it, but I suddenly understand why people just up and disappear. Normal life can be stifling.
And that's all I have for my emo rant.
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