A few little thoughts

I'm about to go and shovel the snow off of my driveway, so I thought I'd procrastinate, I mean, share some thoughts.

Firstly, I really do love snow. I think it's beautiful and makes the world look so peaceful.  I hate snow when it becomes dirty, frozen, nastiness that makes it hard to drive or walk or anything.  I also hate when it gets into your socks and your feet get all cold and snowy.  I do like, however, that it becomes a really good reason to curl up by a fire and drink cocoa, with loads of marshmallows, and do absolutely nothing. This is not going to happen today, which makes me a little sad.

Second- I'm going to the gym at least 6 times in the next 10.  I'm determined.  I'm annoyed that my first forage into doing something good for myself ended up with me being violently ill for two days.  I thought I'd done a really good job, packing veggies and tuna, a healthy and filling lunch, only to have it thrown back at me 6 hours later.  So here's to a healthier 2010 starting today.  And sticking with it.

Thirdly- I miss Matthew.  It's not a good thing, I miss him all the time and it's harder because he's running through my head every 15 minutes with something he's said or done.  On top of it all, cold weather makes me extra cuddly, and the 9 stuffed animals on my bed just do not cut it as far as making up for him. He makes me really happy, normally, and I figure if I have found someone who makes me happy despite all the bullshit that's going on in my life right now between my parents, living at home, work being a disaster, the terror of finding a new job, applying for grad schools, and making something of myself, that I should roll with that and be happy.  It's rare that you can find someone who can do that, much less do it as well as he can.  He has a way of making my overwhelming problems look not so bad, which I think is a good thing.

Fourthly- On a downer, I'm pretty sure I'm still in my "Young and Stupid" phase, despite what I've thought or believed.  I feel sometimes that at 22 I'm more than capable of living on my own and having my own life and not making more mistakes, but when I think about it or other people and their decisions, I sit and think "OH MY GOD, she's only 22? How young to be making such a monumental decision." And then I sit and think "oh hi there ms. hypocrite."  The rest of my life seems like an awfully long time, and it seems like it's not such a big deal to wait and see what happens with things and jobs and school.  On a terrifying note, my mom, at my age, was engaged, and would be married in 6 months.  SCARY. In another 4 years, she'd have kids.


Alright, ladies and gents, I think that's all I have for now. Except for one little plea to please follow me, because that button looks awfully lonely on the side there all by itself.

Later all!