I'm trying really hard right now to not bitch all the time on the internet. This is kind of hard, especially since this week has been nothing but a stressfest full of unhappy conversations and revelations.
So, my attempt here is to list some things that I like about what's going on right now, to counter all the negatives that are weighing me down like a steamroller.
Here goes:
1. I don't feel like the fattest girl at the gym anymore. This is either because I have lost weight (which the scale tells me I haven't) or that I've gone enough to firm up some of the jiggly bits that I don't like. I actually like how I look in the mirror at the moment, although I still think I'd look better lighter (and my doctor and therapist would really like to see me there too).
2. I can run a 12 minute mile while breathing only through my nose. I don't know why this is an accomplishment, but I think it is. I like not having to gasp for air like a fish.
3. There's a possibility that I'll get to do more work on the silver collection at Winterthur. There are a couple of stipulations: 1. They get the grant to be able to afford it, 2. I get the job, 3. I get another job to supplement excess finances, and 4. I can get an apartment in Wilmington for pretty cheap. I think it's doable.
4. I had a really good weekend with Matt despite the fact that he had to work both days I was down. And I also got to feel like his friends don't just put up with me because I'm around, I think they might actually like me just on my own. Woo not being totally annoying all the time.
5. Matt got me a really cute book called "To Love is to Fly" which is basically the whole story of falling in love accompanied by pictures of penguins (possibly my second favorite animal on earth, a very close race between penguins and otters. And tigers.) I like to read it when I miss him, so basically I've been reading it 5 times a day.
6. I finally watched Dumb and Dumber, and was pleasantly surprised. Normally I don't like stupid humor (unless it's in cartoons) and sometimes Jim Carrey can be a little too much, but it was totally appropriate for this movie and I was cracking up. I'm not ashamed. Also, this lets me be able to understand half of the references the guys at the shop make.
7. I've been sketching more. Maybe I'll make a post of sketches I've done. Chances are I'll be too embarrassed of what I've drawn to actually post it. I'm hypercritical about my art. But I do like that I've been drawing more. I missed it.
8. I'm thinking about making a copy of an old piece of furniture for my portfolio. As much as I love my little jewelry box chair, I don't think it's quite enough. Plus I really want to see how far I can push myself. I'm thinking something in mahogany, mostly because it's a softer wood that is easier to carve details into. I'll see what I can dig up.
9. I think that therapy is going really really well. (I apologize if anyone is uncomfortable reading about that) I really do think that John is doing a lot of good for me, especially in how I deal with my relationships with my parents during the divorce. I think I really needed someone to talk to and someone to push me outside of my "dutiful daughter" mindset so that I can really start dealing with who I am and how these things affect me and my relationships. I also recognize that I have a long way to go, but I'm okay with that as long as the progress is forward, not backwards. I feel like I'm in a better place that I was before.
10. I got my pretreatment and post-treatment conservation photos from this summer in the mail. They look great, and I'm really proud of how they came out. If it weren't for the possibility that I'd be voiding some kind of copyright, I would post them everywhere to show how awesome it is. If you're really that interested, I'll haul them down to wherever you are. Yes. I am that proud of them.
I suppose I'll stop at 10. Although that's a little too nice and round of a number for me, I'd rather pop in just one. Oh well.
Hope everyone else is doing well! And also that I snap out of the WLDs (way low downs) sometime soon.
2 comments:
That's so funny that you're like well I guess I can stop at 10, even though its so neat and tidy looking :P Becuase if I run out of stuff at like nine or ten I freak otu :P And make it up sot hat I can get to 10! :P
Hahaha I know, I've never been a round number person. Odd numbers feel really unique, since they can't always be divided nicely into other things. Plus I really like the number 3 (3 kids in my family, I have a weird thing about making visual triangles out of everyday objects) so I think I tend to lean towards uneven lists. You'd think my OCD would squish that.
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